Half Truth

Life screams to me time and again,
But I feel frustrated
Because I am not able to understand
What is it that it is trying to tell me
It is similar to how one day, in all those horror movies
you meet a few trapped souls, looking for an escape to eternity.
But this time, I still don’t know,
How is it that I can help it and it can help me?

All I know is what I am seeing is just the half truth
I am shown a flash of brilliance once and then
I am again in the world of crooks
At times I wonder at my own irony
Is it just my perception of Plato’s cave,
Or I am somehow simply repelling my own safety and security.
But then I know
There are always a few who see the world in its cruel serenity
They call themselves poets, artists, but now days, so does everybody
Am I allured by a few who just cause a distraction through a magnum opus of tragedy
Am I just romancing with the idea of being a rebel? Is it really a necessity?

I see a façade in even the modern poetry,
because everyone is a paper tiger, And not what they are meant to be
I say my generation is a nostalgic one,
We have forsaken the light and promise of tomorrow
We are still awestruck by the heroism of history

We always live life in parallels,
A different parallel with everybody
I started living life with myself once
I figured out I am not what I thought I would be!

Circles

You live life in circles

A new one every time

Few faces

Some happy, some sad

But story is predefined

You call it second chances

No one understands it fully

So they just call it divine.

Deep down in your heart

And mine

We know every day is

Nothing more than

Just a fake sun shine

But here we have made our world

With hints of happiness more than subtle

And it’s ok if it has to change slowly

Until it got a you and a me.

Juliet

I can't sense if u r around,

I am able to find your face

if only i search hard in the crowd.

I have never felt a need to miss you

Though at time i do wonder

how long has it been since i kissed you.

I have recently started stalking you

on social networks,

and at times i do wonder

are we trying too hard to make it work.

why doesn't love comes to me easy,

why i have to remain invisible

even if i am not busy.

Have i missed out on learning

things-to-do-while-in-love,

or is it the concept of arranged marriage

that i am adamant to apply in love.

Yes, i am looking for a fairy tale,

I ask, why it shouldn't be...

Why can't you be my Romeo

and I, your Juliet to be?

घर

आज मै ऑफिस से घर से जो आई

कमरों में एक सन्नाटा सा पसरा पाया

हवाओ की सरसराहट पर

जैसे किसी ने ताला लगा दिया हो.

चारो तरफ हमारे एक-साथ बुने सपने

पतझड़ के पत्तो से बिखरे पड़े थे.

मैंने झुक कर एक को जो उठाया

तो तुम्हारी हंसी की खनक सुनाई दी

इस पर ख्याल आया,

आज कल मुस्कुराहतो ने हमारे साथ

आँख-मिचौली भी खेलना छोड़ दिया है

सोफे पे पड़ी मिट्टी की परते

बोलती है कितने दिन हुए

जब कुछ देर रुक कर

बातें की थी हमने

मेज पर उस दिन की कॉफ़ी के कप

के निशान आज भी मौजूद है

दरवाजे की घंटी बजी है

सोच रही हू आज पूछ ही लू

उस अजनबी से एक कप कॉफ़ी के लिए

जो यू तो रोज़ ही आता है मेरे घर.

Chandani 11

I feel sane

I feel alive

Is it just smoke?

or i see my past walking by

My thoughts take me to a city

unknown

I see faces of my brothers and sisters

and among them my own

The silence is smiling upon me

my spirit is dancing with the moon

Shadows are holding my hand

and taking me in the woods

Reason betrays my fear

and destiny decides

I should

I walk bare feet

on snow, grass and smoke

Crossing the boundaries

of pain, hope and truth

Stars stop looking for me

for it knows it won't find me

anymore

I am an enigma,

a miracle unspoken

and pure

unnamed

The world of sister & brothers

The world of remorse and hope

It gives all - In balance

As happiness & pain are same

Two sides of same dame

Just hormones - they claim

So what is it, the state to be

What causes the harmony

Is it the power? The fame?

No, they r just another form of tragedy

It requires the knowledge of 'me'

And the satisfaction of - being

They call you from all sides

Mute cacophony, colorful and blind

You still find your wish - you live.

Technicolor Me

I feel like standing in the crowd, I see people passing by

I wish them to stop and stay with me for a moment

But they don’t know me; I am just a stranger,

Who is with them just for a while

I look around and smile

Color my part of the world purple and bright

They turn around; feel happy, amused and satisfied

I pass them the bubble; little hope, though fragile

Now they move again to some place, they think they belong to

Their bubble busts right behind them, all is left is just dew

I look towards the sky as it start pouring wet drops on dry

And I wave them happily, as they pass by

(I miss you, I truly do!)

You are searching for me!!

In all those lonely nights

when world is so shiny and bright

when heart and mind are on a fight

and all you carve is insanity of a while

i am the word you want to hear,

alive... true... and real!!

when you don't wish to board last train home,

when the melody of cacophony is long gone...

when silence no more seems the company...

stars are all bright, but that is not what you wish to see.

i am the silent thud, your heart just then had,

picture is not in pieces, it's a perfect mosaic!

when everyone in the crowd is a familiar face

when you stop letting horoscope decide your daily fate...

when you refuse to let smile leave it's place...

you know you are running alone, but still continue with the race.

it's my breath you feel on your skin, still there for you as i always have been.

you have been here, too long,

even the suspicion now is too strong.

and i know this all sounds very funny

but ever heard "irony met a tragedy"?

it's all about errors in a comedy

by the way, yes, you are searching for me!!

The clash of being!

when the game gets real, the real gets game... 

you chuck it, u dodge it, yet all excuses stay lame.  

you think u won, then u see victory in foe's eyes,

battle never ends... it's between FIRE 'n' ICE.  

u kill, u bleed, u breathe pride 'n' shame, 

u win it, u loose it, it'll remain the same...!  

u fight for life yet u wish u die... 

vengeance is a mockery when true are the lies!

i free u from captive, the remorse, the hope... 

i defy boundaries, every treason u blame me of.  

my power i'll seize, only silhouettes will speak of my presence... 

incarnation of a preposterous notion, i m smoke... evanescence will b my essence.

Happy B'day!

(about the pic the photographer said-A teddy bear sitting on a grave of a women called "Paula". I don't know her but based on her year of birth, I'm guessing that the teddy bear was a gift from a grandchild)

There is a girl who lives in house in front of mine, 

sweet n simple but with a heart which is divine.

When things are not right... all u need is her sweet smile. 

For it to become a special day jus be with her for a while.

She knows the sense in stupidity... 

Can make even a toothache a calamity!

She wants to b a child when she grows old... 

Got the spirit of hurricane, no one can keep her on hold.

She is the one who made my life pretty easy

 n she hates it when i say the word 'busy'.

hey nutty, my tooti-frooti, there something i want to tell u truely... 

No matter wt u think bt i belong to u already!

plea for death!

i don't know how or why

but i did something 

which i ...didn't meant to try

i don't know

is it false or true 

that i am

already in love with you

i meant to

stop and wait

but i fear it to be

too late!

i don't know wt to do,

i trust you!

but am I 

being true?

you put it all so simply

but for me it's not that easy

dun ask me questions

dun gimme a choice

kill me for once

n my soul is for you to rejoice!

i can't give my heart alone.. u gotta keep my soul!

Ca⋅dav⋅er⋅ous life!

I miss living my life...

The way I used to smile...

The way I used to cheer up and say hi

To the faces known- unknown who use to pass by!

 

Now all I think is about loss

The borrowed pain and the imposed gloss

The cruelty being wrapped in morality

The evil face of my own divinity

 

The face which looks back from mirror

...is not mine!

The eyes are same but they reflect shame

...instead of shine!

 

When my own people touch me... 

I don't feel a thing!

For a moment I do see them smiling

But then I blink!

 

It’s as if I am watching my life

...from a glass door

They are calling my name

..But I could hear no more!

 

I am beating the glass, asking them for help

They think I am being snobbish n giving them hell

They r going away n all they feel for me is sorrow n despise

I am helpless n weak but they leave me crying

 

It is not even a nightmare

It is real... it's the animal in me and is alive

I am scared, am panting inside and screaming

Gimme back my life...

 Gimme back my life!

oh man.. when it happened? i feel so trapped in myself... i want a escape.. i want out!

i must be damn crazy that i posted it here!!

Don't fall for something you can't have, 

but heart never listens.. It does jus that!

All day long all i do is miss you.. 

N it's too scary to know how much i love you!

Dream of u in the nights,

think of you with the dawn.. 

N when i feel lonely inside 

it's your name i mourn.

I keep listening to our love song... N get alive with evry beep on my phone.

Do u think of me nw n then... Dial my num n cut again? 

Realizing Hw crazy m about you disgusts me... 

M jus carrying a few rags in the name of dignity.

I can live without u for sure bt it's nt easy anymore...

how am i to forget something etched on my heart 'n' soul??

Y we have to fight against solipsism's truth n vanity.

Y it can't be.. Jus u n me?

Lets just stop this hurt game.. Be mine n let me be yours again!

Be mine n let me be yours again!!

A Beautiful Good-Bye!!!

Who were you?

A longing chime or just a name…

A humble smile or just a game

You made dreams come true in a single day…

How could you be the one, who crushed them once in every way?

 

It was never proper when we said ‘hi’

Why I am feeling nostalgic while saying ‘bye’?

How you manage to ruin things

N they yet seem right

Are you a magician?

Or I got problem with my sight!

 

I don’t know, is it about perceptive?

Or life is in habit of using such complex adjectives

That the moment you think

You know it all…

They tell you to wait,

Coz it just wasn’t your call!

 

You make me wonder n you make me cry

And I bet I would never meet other such guy!

This day I am keeping as a relic for life

And let me tell you… I just love your smile!!

I don’t know if we could meet again, ever

But this one will always remind me of you… Sir!

 

A Stolen Nexus

I promise to stand beside you,

For all it takes…

And you told me everyone has left you alone,

 In the middle of the way!

 

All I want, is to see you smile,

Just to hold you once and make you stay for a while!

All I end up giving you is a shoulder to cry,

And hearing about people you want by your side.

 

That’s what you do to me,

When ever you come and we talk.

All I hear is about people I don’t know,

Even though it’s u ’n’ me taking a walk!

 

How am I to tell you, things I want to say?

You never try to take a step forward, just keep standing on the bay.

As much as I want you near me, I find you going away.

Am I trying to build a dream castle of false hope and dry clay?

 

Stay with me… please stay!

I steal the ties you have with others to make a bond with you!

I am a thief who steal the blood for her heart!!

End to a Beginning!

I do not know why…
Things happen as they do in life.
One moment there are flowers and sunshine
In very next, smile is pronounced as crime.
I do not know what goes wrong…
Why do I always fail to hold on?
Why all I try to catch is always smoke
Why relations die without any further hope.
If nothing matters to me
Then why my heart aches…
Why my all promises made to self
Now sounds so fake
Where should I go to ask….
What went wrong?
My world crashed in a moment
Even without the hint of storm

It hurts, it hurts, it hurts damned... who you think you are... you know everything... Do you... No you don’t. You don’t and I promise you’ll never do. It hurts you ****** it hurts like hell… how easy it was... wasn’t it… to say “I got some work” and go. I have tried once, now I’ll just nurse my ego.

Anam Cara

You never know when it starts
And a stranger makes way into your heart
You think of her and smile
N keeps wondering about the same long after saying good-byes!

You don't know how she looks
You wonder is she someone form a fairy book!
On the other side of your pc she shows surprise
N you can still see the sparkle in her eyes.

When you hurt her and behave like an oak
She pretends as if it was just a joke.
She sting as a bee in a deadly move
But add humor to make it smooth.

It's awesome that what a chat can do to you
You start smiling while listening to blues.
You hold yourself a moment longer
To make the longing inside you stronger.

She says I keep her on the bay
Should I tell her I want her longer to stay,
How much I fear to loose her someday
So I am making it harder today.

I know what I am doing is just not right
But loving someone gives me fright
She would never know how much is on stake
Because she says good bye to me every single day!

- to my net friend!

To S

Sometimes words just lost their meaning n seems like what they actually are " just words"! I am not surprised that I could not think of a single word to say to you! All I have for you are my bare emotions n feelings.
So every time I think of you.. I smile, for that stupid, bubbly child who just babble all day long and want everyone in the world to know wt she has to say.., but I couldn't say a thing!
Every time you are in trouble.. my heart aches for you.. I stand far away from you n watch you cry.. coz I want you to heal , without any scars, I stay there with you.. But I couldn't say a thing!
whenever you tell me about your joys.. I feel honored.. coz you are someone who trust me without any reason, any question or asking anything in return.. that is the present you give me everyday.. I am humbled and want to tell you same.. but I couldn't say a thing!

when I hurt you.. I do without feeling guilty.. you feel bad n hurt.. i know.. but what you give me back is always a smile.. u forgive me always.. then I feel guilty.. but I
Couldn't say a thing!

And When I finally say something to you.. I criticize you.. Coz that is wt I know best to do.. You always hear me.. N try to make things right.. Then I wonder should I be happy that you made it again.. Or should I curse myself coz neither you deserved my rudeness nor you should have changed yourself.. You always leave me speechless..!

You are like the first light of dawn which gives hope n promise.. But take away the security of dark.. My loneliness away from me.. I am a loner.. I hate real people!
You are like the music I love the most.. Bt the same makes me cry!
You are the gift given to me.. Bt is too fragile!
It's a curse to have you as my friend.. N yet it's the only thought that make me smile!

Tell me what should I do about you?

Canvass

Never been in love before,
So I don't know for sure
are you the same guy I have been searchin all my life??
Are you the one?

In the whisper of the night
With the moon so bright
I often wonder who'll take me beyond those skies..
Are you the one?

I am no angel or goddess
But want someone to treat me as
For whom will b my all truth and lies..
Are you are one..
are you one..

Are you.. The one!!

A Treacherous Heart

I am sure that wasn't love
I wonder, then why it still hurts?
I know you weren’t the one for me,
So now why I am feeling so lonely?

Why my heart ache to have you back
Why you seem as the piece of my life I lack
Why I still want to call you late in the night
What is happening to me? It’s just not right.

Do I love you?, No. but I am just not ready to say goodbye.
I still wish I could stop you, I could hold you tight,
You are going away and I want to cry,
Because with you I can't live, without you... I can't survive.